The 6 Days of Eve-mas!
by Ikasury
Summary: Starting from December 24th, Aya got several 'gifts' from Eve... Parody of 'Twelve Days of Christmas' sung by Aya about the events of the New York Blockade...


**A/N:** BECAUSE ITS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I PLAN ON PLAYING THIS GAME FOR THE NEXT 6 DAYS :D

and if i haven't mentioned before, or if my profile avi doesn't say it already, I LOVE PARASITE EVE!

**Dis:** Parasite Eve, the book, movie and overall idea of it all belongs to Hideki Sena, the game was developed and therefore owned by Squaresoft, I OWN THEM ALL!

also, maybe spoilers-ho if you tilt your head and squint, but i don't think you'd get it unless you play the game... oh well!

ENJOY!

* * *

On the first day of Eve-mas, my mortal enemy gave to me~

Over a dozen charred bodies…

One dead clown…

Several mutant rats…

A parrot that won't shut up…

A pair of creepy toads…

A first transformation…

A total loser date…

ONE CONVOLUTED PLOT-POINT!

An annoying reporter…

One giant croc…

A big case of 'WTF?!'

And a new appreciation for my partner~

-x-

On the second day of Eve-mas, my mortal enemy gave to me~

One massive headache…

3 buddy cops…

A new mod permit…

One creepy doc…

Several bouts of déjà vu…

More convoluted plot…

One crappy Christmas…

FOUR GIANT EARTH WORMS!

An encore of horrors…

A sleigh-ride from hell…

A total evacuation order…

And somehow saved my partner's son, yay!

-x-x-

On the third day of Eve-mas, my mortal enemy gave to me~

A weird Japanese guy…

Several convoluted nightmares…

Two illegal shopping sprees…

A damsel in distress plot…

Several dead cops…

More rats from hell…

Several eerie cutaways…

OH MY GOD YOU KILLED TORRES!

A giant three headed dog…

New super-powers…

Nearly killed my boss…

And the bitch wasn't even here!

-x-x-x-

On the fourth day of Eve-mas, my mortal enemy gave to me~

Some weird Japanese trinket…

A new fear of hospitals…

One bad joke…

Two collapsed stairways…

More mutant monsters…

More déjà vu…

Several useless nurses (how are they alive?)

OH CRAP I SHOCKED MYSELF!

Is that the Chrysler building?

MY GOD CONVOLUED PLOT! Wait- mom?

Fuck a giant spider!

Two useless jets…

More snarky-win…

AND NO, YOU DO NOT JUMP OFF THE ROOF!

I'm really starting to hate spiders…

More convoluted plot…

A really bitchin' microscope…

One pissed off scientist…

And yes this went on longer than necessary… wait till tomorrow…

-x-x-x-x-

On the fifth day of Eve-mas, my mortal enemy gave to me~ (oh god this is going to be long)

One extremely long headache…

A pointless trip to a warehouse…

Front row seats to a rat/cat fight…

More creepy spiders…

A GIANT FUCKING CRAB!

Oooh a rocket launcher!

An arbitrary reason to go to china-town…

A new dislike for cats…

More illegal shopping…

Another useless trinket…

A GODDAMN SEWER LEVEL!

A new fear of bats…

Ooh a super-tool!

A really bitchin' CGI scene…

More nightmare-fuel…

OH GOD THERE'S TWO CROCODILES!

Running for my life!

Breaking into a subway…

Is that a giant centipede?

Another dead cop… yay…

And foreshadowing until I insert disc two…

GODDAMNIT!

-x-x-x-x-x-

Continuing the fifth day of Eve-mas after inserting disc two~

God fuck my life…

Wait I have to do the Chrysler Building? (But I'm not in EX mode?)

Goddamnit… 77 levels of mayhem…

Another giant spider (WHY?!)

Two massive crocs…

A scarier centipede…

Oh god, are those dinos?

What the hell is that?

Another fucking crab!

Is that a giant bee?!

AND I RIPPED OPEN A HOLE IN THE TIME CONTINUM! GREAT!

Back to the original plot…

On to the museum…

6 ridiculous questions…

One really cool diorama…

Evil roly-polies!

Several locked rooms…

AND YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, THOSE ARE RAPTORS!

Holy fuck that's a giant scorpion…

Why is there a pterodactyl?

Who locked me in?

God I'm starting to hate hights…

Epic foreshadowing ho~

More nightmare fuel…

Another attempt on my life…

More convoluted plot…

Another useless gun… sigh…

A triceratops… wait-what?!

I JUST GOT LIBERATE!

Oh fuck my life, why isn't it dead?

I'm tired of falling from high places…

Oh my god that's a Tyrannosaurs-Rex…

IT BREATHES FIRE!

Finding another elevator key…

The point of no return…

Oh god… Eve is pregnant…

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Continuing the fifth day of Eve-mas from the point of no return~

I don't want to ask what happened with your design…

One epic CGI scene…

5 gelatinous tentacles…

One gooey monster…

One exit stage left…

3 useless helicopters…

4 useless jets…

2 useless missiles…

And a new appreciation for the cellular design…

Oh god… it's not over…

More convoluted plot…

Several useless admirals…

An entire fleet of useless ships…

A helicopter of my own…

More reasons to fuel my survivor's guilt…

And probably one of the best CGI scenes in this game…

A philosophical debate…

An epic boss fight…

An epic transformation…

And I FINALLY get to shoot that bitch dead… yay!

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

On the sixth day of Eve-mas, my mortal enemy gave to me! (Oh goddamnit you're dead!)

The birth of the Ultimate Being…

A fleet of burning ships…

More nightmare fuel…

Several transformations…

Running low on revives…

Oh god I think I'm going to die…

Why aren't my bullets working…

OH MY GOD DANIEL'S ON FIRE!

Ultimate kill-bullets!

One of the scariest chase scenes ever…

A final bad one-liner…

And I never want to do this shit again!

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

And on January 2nd my team gave to me~

Tickets to the same opera…

Fuck you guys…

* * *

**A/N:** written with all the love in the world~

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


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